I know I’m hard on myself. Today I woke up and did not go exercise like I told myself I would start doing(for the nth time). I’ve listened to so many povs on this, some of which include: conquer your inner bitch, you’re not lazy it’s just not your passion, be practical, find your why, and on and on. So, which is it and how do I make sure I do right by myself and the goals I set? Am I not thinking about them through the right frame? There’s so much content out there based on opinions. If I were to create a Youtube channel while it does give a voice to my thoughts I wouldn’t want to share my opinion or if I did I would be careful about it. I would want to actively (keyword) encourage people to think about their own opinions on the matter. There are so many people telling you how to think and not all of it is bad but it does little other than slightly expose and or argue for a point or even offer up validation which you interpreted based on the title of a video or blog.
When I am frustrated with where I am I think what’s the point I’ll never be good, I’ll never make it. Sometimes I wake up and think what’s the point the of working out today, what’s the point of learning marketing, what’s the point of learning to draw, what’s the point of learning this dance, what’s the point of learning languages, what the point of playing it safe, what’s the point of risking it all, what’s the point of reaching for anything I’ll never be consistent enough to get good. I don’t have all the time in the world. If I do many things I will only be able to achieve mediocrity in all or expertise in one so I best choose well but then I wonder what’s the point of becoming a master in this one thing? How much value is this worth to me? Is it worth dedicating my life to will it provide for me and all my needs what is worth fighting for in my life? Why does it need to be something I can do for the rest of my life? Why can’t I start something and let it run its course? I want to devote my life to something but what is in this world is worth my life’s devotion?